Subject:
Self-introduction
Dear Prof
Brad,
I am writing
to you to introduce myself, my name is Jarod Chia studying in Sustainable
Infrastructure (Land). I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in
Clean energy. Studying Clean energy has taught me much about the different ways
we can harness energy from our surroundings and use them to power our cities. I
believe that in the future with fossil fuels being depleted, we need to start
looking into renewable energy as a power source for the near future.
My purpose in
continuing my studies in Sustainable Infrastructure, is to build on my
foundations of electrical engineering and learn about mechanical engineering.
In the past, I did not learn any physics in secondary school or polytechnic.
Therefore, one of my concerns is learning physics from scratch and keeping up
with the classes. Some goals that I have in this module is to improve on my
workplace communication skills and improve on my writing skills. These two
skills would allow me to communicate well In a workplace as communication is
important to relay instructions as well as information.
During my
time in Temasek Polytechnic, I realized that I am confident in giving
presentations in front of the class. This is provided I had enough time to
prepare for the presentation or that I am well versed in the topic I was presenting
on. One weakness that I have is structuring my sentences to allow myself to
express my thoughts and ideas smoothly. Many times, I get stuck trying to
figure out how to carry on and keep the flow of the sentence.
I hope that
this module would build on the communication skills that I learned from my
secondary and polytechnic school days and teach new skills that can be used in
the future.
Best regards,
Jarod
Thanks very much, Jarod, for posting this detailed letter. I look forward to reading some of your peer’s comments before I make any of my own.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Jarod,
ReplyDeleteGood content and neat paragraphs. You are one of the most confident guy I have known so far, keeping pursuing your goals and I believe you can succeed soon. See you in class! :)
Dear Jarod,
ReplyDeleteThanks again for this letter, which covers all the content bases. In terms of language, heer are a few areas to review:
1) verb use
-- Some goals that I have in this module is ... >>> (subject-verb disagreement)
-- This is provided I had enough time to prepare for the presentation or that I am well versed in the topic I was presenting on. >>> (inconsistent verb tense usage)
-- I hope that this module would build... >>> (use of 'would')
2) sentence structure
-- I am writing to you to introduce myself, my name is Jarod Chia studying in Sustainable Infrastructure (Land). >>> (run on sentence)
I hope to see the revisions in your next draft.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Jarod,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing! I believe your passion for clean energy along with your knowledge that you will get out of this degree program will enable you to make a difference!
Just some feedback on your letter, I feel you can afford to share more about your hobbies. Look forward to seeing you in class!
Regards
Zaccheus
Hi Jarod,
ReplyDeleteOverall the content is very interesting, hope to learn some tips of how to give a good presentations from you.
Cheers,
Ian